I've been thinking about this for some time, but never took the time to write it down properly. A short post was not going to do it justice! So now that it's done, sit back and relax; you're in for a long ride.
During my first year in INSA, I took up volleyball as one in a package of three sports. I was very bad at it (and still am, the reason of which will become apparent in the next few sentences). Unfortunately I did not have the chance to improve, because every time we played, my teammates would assign someone to "take care" of me, knowing that every time I touched the ball, our team would lose the point (yes, it was that bad). So in the end, I hardly played, and therefore made no improvement at all in that one-third of a year.
In the recent years, the term "helicopter parent" has become popular to describe the kind of parent who hovers around their child to protect them, not letting the child learn to be independent. I feel that this kind of teammate, who hovers to "help" you, is similar, and deserves the moniker of "helicopter teammate".
So why am I talking about this now? you may ask. Well, I have not played volleyball since I left France (and even for a few years before that), but helicopter teammates can appear in any kind of non-solo sport (or non-sports, for that matter).
As practically everyone knows, I have been playing badminton almost exclusively since coming to work in Penang. Recently I was surprised to find myself losing more and more often when playing with the same group of people, even when partnered with a player stronger than the opponents. Since I was definitely weaker than my partner, the blame would apparently lie on me. But I did not understand why I was playing so badly. I did notice, however, that I tended to lose when partnered with specific people and not others, even when the partners were of about the same skill level.
So I tried to figure out why we were losing so many points. After some time, the conclusion I came to was, I lost more points when playing with a helicopter partner.
Now the thing is, I tend to let my partner take the shot if they try to, so that we could avoid unnecessary clashes. Some partners would even take a shot that I was supposed to take, as long as they feel they can take it. (I'm not sure whether they just want to play as much as they can, or prove that they can do it, or simply do not trust me to take the shot.) And usually I would move out of their way. As a result, I was playing less. That was the first thing. If I was playing less, it meant I was practising less, and that would not help me play any better.
The second thing is that when a helicopter partner runs over to your side of the court to take a shot that you were meant to be responsible for, they leave their side of the court open. And when that happens, of course that area of the court is open to attack, and sometimes they won't be able to get back in time to cover that. (and of course I'm not able to get there in time either...there's no way I can be a helicopter partner :P )
This is how helicopter partners can actually "help" to lose a game. However, why did they become helicopters in the first place? In my case, it was probably partly my fault... You see, I have been taught that when playing badminton doubles, a shot in between the two players should be taken by the one who has the forehand. Since most of the population is right-handed, that means the shot in the middle should be taken by the player on the left. So if I am standing on the right, I would leave the middle shot to my partner. However, if the shot is just slightly to my left, even if I am able to take it, if I see my partner reaching out for it, I will tell them to take it, so that we won't end up clashing or both of us leaving it to the other. I do the same when the shot is on my right, between the two of us, but my partner moves to the left (against the convention) to take it. Besides avoiding clashes, sometimes it is because they would already block me from taking the shot (I would hit them instead of the shuttlecock!).
I suspect this is why my partners become even more aggressive helicopters than they initially were. While they were trying to be my "safety net", only preparing to take the shot in case I missed it, I told them to go ahead, and they probably thought that I couldn't take it. So in the end they "helped" me take every shot, assuming that I couldn't take any of them.
But the thing is, why did they have to be a "safety net" in the first place? When playing for fun, is it so important to not lose a point? Even if I don't manage to get that shot the first time, if I'm supposed to be the one taking it, why not let me try until I can get it? If my partner does not make any move to take the shot, I will know that I am expected to take it, and that I will have to move more quickly the next time.
So I've taken to be more aggressive in grabbing shots. Instead of saying "yours" all the time when my partner tries to take the shot, sometimes I will say "mine" when the shot is clearly for me. In the recent sessions, I have even taken to telling partners who tend to be helicopters, "If it's my shot, leave it to me so that I can try taking it." Sometimes after they snatch my shot, I will tell them, "Next time, let me try taking that." (Only sometimes... it may not be enough, but it's a start.)
And it's showing results. A guy who very seldom joins us has told me just last week that I had "improved a lot" (since the last session he came to, I guess). I do not believe that I had improved, though... I had just managed to get my partner to leave my side of the court to me, and focus on their side of the court instead of leaving it vulnerable.
So to those who tend to be helicopters, do try to trust your partner/teammate. If you want to do all the work yourself, you might as well play a solo game.
Besides, as I mentioned earlier, there are also some players who do not become helicopters, even though they have the ability to do so. And to those, I am grateful.
During my first year in INSA, I took up volleyball as one in a package of three sports. I was very bad at it (and still am, the reason of which will become apparent in the next few sentences). Unfortunately I did not have the chance to improve, because every time we played, my teammates would assign someone to "take care" of me, knowing that every time I touched the ball, our team would lose the point (yes, it was that bad). So in the end, I hardly played, and therefore made no improvement at all in that one-third of a year.
In the recent years, the term "helicopter parent" has become popular to describe the kind of parent who hovers around their child to protect them, not letting the child learn to be independent. I feel that this kind of teammate, who hovers to "help" you, is similar, and deserves the moniker of "helicopter teammate".
So why am I talking about this now? you may ask. Well, I have not played volleyball since I left France (and even for a few years before that), but helicopter teammates can appear in any kind of non-solo sport (or non-sports, for that matter).
As practically everyone knows, I have been playing badminton almost exclusively since coming to work in Penang. Recently I was surprised to find myself losing more and more often when playing with the same group of people, even when partnered with a player stronger than the opponents. Since I was definitely weaker than my partner, the blame would apparently lie on me. But I did not understand why I was playing so badly. I did notice, however, that I tended to lose when partnered with specific people and not others, even when the partners were of about the same skill level.
So I tried to figure out why we were losing so many points. After some time, the conclusion I came to was, I lost more points when playing with a helicopter partner.
Now the thing is, I tend to let my partner take the shot if they try to, so that we could avoid unnecessary clashes. Some partners would even take a shot that I was supposed to take, as long as they feel they can take it. (I'm not sure whether they just want to play as much as they can, or prove that they can do it, or simply do not trust me to take the shot.) And usually I would move out of their way. As a result, I was playing less. That was the first thing. If I was playing less, it meant I was practising less, and that would not help me play any better.
The second thing is that when a helicopter partner runs over to your side of the court to take a shot that you were meant to be responsible for, they leave their side of the court open. And when that happens, of course that area of the court is open to attack, and sometimes they won't be able to get back in time to cover that. (and of course I'm not able to get there in time either...there's no way I can be a helicopter partner :P )
This is how helicopter partners can actually "help" to lose a game. However, why did they become helicopters in the first place? In my case, it was probably partly my fault... You see, I have been taught that when playing badminton doubles, a shot in between the two players should be taken by the one who has the forehand. Since most of the population is right-handed, that means the shot in the middle should be taken by the player on the left. So if I am standing on the right, I would leave the middle shot to my partner. However, if the shot is just slightly to my left, even if I am able to take it, if I see my partner reaching out for it, I will tell them to take it, so that we won't end up clashing or both of us leaving it to the other. I do the same when the shot is on my right, between the two of us, but my partner moves to the left (against the convention) to take it. Besides avoiding clashes, sometimes it is because they would already block me from taking the shot (I would hit them instead of the shuttlecock!).
I suspect this is why my partners become even more aggressive helicopters than they initially were. While they were trying to be my "safety net", only preparing to take the shot in case I missed it, I told them to go ahead, and they probably thought that I couldn't take it. So in the end they "helped" me take every shot, assuming that I couldn't take any of them.
But the thing is, why did they have to be a "safety net" in the first place? When playing for fun, is it so important to not lose a point? Even if I don't manage to get that shot the first time, if I'm supposed to be the one taking it, why not let me try until I can get it? If my partner does not make any move to take the shot, I will know that I am expected to take it, and that I will have to move more quickly the next time.
So I've taken to be more aggressive in grabbing shots. Instead of saying "yours" all the time when my partner tries to take the shot, sometimes I will say "mine" when the shot is clearly for me. In the recent sessions, I have even taken to telling partners who tend to be helicopters, "If it's my shot, leave it to me so that I can try taking it." Sometimes after they snatch my shot, I will tell them, "Next time, let me try taking that." (Only sometimes... it may not be enough, but it's a start.)
And it's showing results. A guy who very seldom joins us has told me just last week that I had "improved a lot" (since the last session he came to, I guess). I do not believe that I had improved, though... I had just managed to get my partner to leave my side of the court to me, and focus on their side of the court instead of leaving it vulnerable.
So to those who tend to be helicopters, do try to trust your partner/teammate. If you want to do all the work yourself, you might as well play a solo game.
Besides, as I mentioned earlier, there are also some players who do not become helicopters, even though they have the ability to do so. And to those, I am grateful.
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