This could be like a Part 2 to the previous post, as it also involves trying to get people's opinions on Facebook.
But not really. This is really a full-blown rant on inconsiderateness.
Not long ago we went out for a team lunch. (please note the word "team")
We went to Tao in Times Square for a buffet. The place doesn't really matter, but I guess it being a buffet may explain something. (or not, you decide) In case you didn't know, the Tao buffet is not a self-sevice, "take-what-you-want" buffet; it is an "order-what-you-want" buffet (though appetizers and desserts are in the "take-what-you-want" category).
Our table was a long one, with long benches on both sides. Like illustrated below. (I drew these pictures - there's another one further below - to ask my question on Facebook. I think you can guess the question: A or B?) There were seven of us.
Two had arrived first, so they were sitting at spots 3 and 7 when we (the second car) arrived. They were already eating because, hey, this is a buffet, who cares? They won't finish our food anyway, we can still order.
The problem was that I ended up being number 4. And the others decided to sit as illustrated in the option B. (they filled up the seats starting from the right, and I was the last to go into the seating area (it was like a cubby-hole compartment for our table))
I was like, what? Why are you so squeezed to that side when the three of you can spread out evenly and occupy the whole table? (like in option A. I guess it is pretty clear which option I would choose)
Seeing these guys so oblivious, I decided to say something. I said, "Why are you all sitting over there?" I even said, "I feel like I'm eating alone", while gesturing to the empty space in front of me.
And no one saw fit to move their seats. Instead, number 2 launched into an explanation of why they were sitting there: because the food would arrive there (my side was the window to the exterior) and by the time it reached my place the plate would be empty. A very good explanation indeed.
As a joke, you mean! As if there would be no food left (which would have been a very nasty thing to do anyway, if they had decided to do it, which to their (tiny) credit they didn't), and
as if spreading out the seats a bit would change anything. It's not like an additional person would sprout out and grab their food.
I didn't laugh at their "joke", by the way. I would have laughed if they had made the joke while moving seats. But since they had their butts stuck to those places, I did not laugh. And they found everything very normal.
The others usually speak to each other in Mandarin. I usually don't mind, I just ask if there is a word or something in there I didn't catch, and they would explain. But sometimes the conversation flows to too "deep" wordy topics, and I give up.
That day was no different, except that I gave up sooner. They were sitting, to all means and purposes, at the next table. They talked about stuff. They looked at someone's photos on a phone. I didn't care. I didn't try to catch the words. I was seething.
Of course, it was not in my best interests to sulk. It was in my best interests to enjoy the meal. And so I did. I ordered as I would normally do, I asked them to pass dishes as I would normally do. No problem. Just because you don't care about me doesn't mean I should care about you. Right?
I was just aware of a chasm that had just opened up. One that was already there, and which I knew about (because hey, when you are chatting over lunch and your topics don't really match, you know there is a gap), but which had been sort of enveloped in a misty shroud. And now it was like, wow, what a clear day, I can see everything clearly now.
And the irony is that it was a team lunch. How is this a team when you willingly push someone to one side? And just mock them when they object?
Yes, I was upset. Very much so. Once I played poker with some friends (they taught me how) and they said I didn't have a poker face at all, I was too easy to read. But in this case, I must have had the best poker face. Because no one seemed to notice that I was upset.
Or of course, maybe they did and just didn't care.
Number 1 and number 5 were facing the other side most of the time (like I said, it was like there was a table for six and a table for one), and besides the times they were passing food around, I think the only time someone actually spoke to me was number 5 asking me (several times), "You want anything else?"
Yup, I'm an eating machine. Thanks for giving me food. (I am actually sincere in this, I just feel that it is kind of telling. Like the only topic we have is food. Though maybe that is true.)
Anyway, to get to the "opinions on Facebook" part. I posted the picture above, and this picture below. And asked people:
What would be your seating arrangement, A or B? And if you don't mind
typing a little more, maybe you could tell me why too. As usual, I'm
asking for opinions, not one answer. Thanks in advance to those who
reply.
This five-person seating actually happened before. It was at a food court and two of the round seats were missing. (you can see the empty space, I'm sure) I was number 4 (coincidentally the same number) at the time, and number 2 and number 3 had taken the places in option A. I remember feeling awkward that number 1 had no more choice but to sit at the far end of the table. But I couldn't move my seat (those seats were all bolted to the ground), so there was nothing to do. I didn't say anything then because I wasn't sure that all three of them didn't like the extra space from spreading out the three people.
And number 1 didn't say anything either. But at least he didn't sulk. I think.
I received fewer responses to this question. (don't ask me why) A grand total of TWO people replied.
L's answer is exactly my thoughts. (you might have figured that out already if you read this whole post) F's answer is suitable for herself. (that's why I wanted explanations, though I felt it was asking too much from some people) As for the last comment, F was the one who "liked" it, so I guess that means she's saying yes, it applies to both cases.
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