Note: This post is half rant, half musing.I don’t get it. When I see someone I know, I look at them and either smile or wave, depending on how well I know them. It’s just a “politeness” thing, something to say
hey, I know you. It doesn’t matter if we’ve never talked before, if we’re in the same class, that’s enough! Is it a Malaysian thing? In Malaysia there was only one person who acted like I didn’t exist (just looked through me like I wasn’t there) and frankly, I didn’t think much of that person (the term
stuck-up comes to mind) But in France, I find it very very weird. Some people
do say hi and all, but some just act like they’ve never seen me before. The weirdest yet is this: there’s this guy who’s in an activity group with me, and during that activity he comes up (he actually takes the time to walk over to us) to say hi, but whenever I see him anywhere else, he acts like we’re complete strangers. (lately he does acknowledge me sometimes) There are really a whole lot of people who are in my class (or lectures) who always act that way. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but if I see someone who’s always in the same lecture hall as I am, I would at least acknowledge him/her. Even if I see someone from INSA when I’m outside INSA, I would acknowledge them!
As a result, I don't acknowledge much people any more, seeing as no one else seems to... the other day I almost didn't acknowledge a guy who's doing sport with me (he was just behind me as we were going out of my department building to go to the tennis courts, and I caught a glimpse of him while going through the door) But then something clicked in my mind:
hey it's not like I've known him very long (we'd just started classes a few weeks earlier), ignoring him would be getting off on a wrong footing, and it would be doing exactly what I'm condemning! So I
did turn around and wait a bit for him...and I'm glad I did. 'Cos he's in my class and pretty close to another friend of mine, and that means I see him quite often. And if I had ignored him...I think I'd feel pretty awkward...
[Edit: I just thought of something...
if I
hadn't turned around...would he have caught up with me? If I had been behind instead of in front of him, would I have caught up with him? Or would I have felt "safe" ignoring him, since he wouldn't even know? I wonder...]
And a few days ago there was a little incident...I didn't really have time to muse over it 'cos I've been a little busy, but now it's given me something to think about! I was going to my department in INSA when I saw a friend of mine (who was in my class last year, but is now in a different department) waiting outside a lecture hall just beside my department. I usually pass quite far from the lecture hall, but when I saw him there, I decided to go over and say hi, since we hardly see each other now. He seemed surprised that I had walked up to the lecture hall, 'cos I didn't have class there, so I told him that I had walked over after seeing him there. And his reply? "
Oh, that's nice." (
c'est gentil) Thinking it over, I feel that it's a pity...it probably means that he wouldn't have done that himself. Whereas to me, I feel that it's the most natural thing in the world...when you see a friend and you have a little time, you walk over to say hi! I wonder whether it's a French mentality...anyone like to tell me what they'd have done in my place?