About me:
I like camping and hiking in the nude, uphill skiing, and basejumping, as long as it's not more than 3 feet high. I also like puppies, but only if they aren't rabid.
I drive by the gym at least once a day, and take my cats out for a drag every night. Sometimes, I go strolling alone along the beach and feed the birds....to the sharks. Ocassionally, I'll even kick sand on couples having an afternoon picnic. It's a hoot. Makes me smile. But it would be nice to share those walks with someone though.
A lot of women have told me I look like Brad Pitt....in the dark. Others have said I'm a hunk, but a hunk of what?
About my date:
I'm looking for a woman who appreciates the finer things in life, like sauerkraut, amish quilts, and Aboriginal didjeridu's. A woman that's not afraid to let her hair down.....unless she's wearing a wig.
Someone who like's me for who I am, and not for what I turn into during a full moon. Someone that appreciates my large hands, lazy eye, and big but....I digress....
For fun:
I enjoy having epileptic seizures in public places, especially in clubs. I've started two new dance styles so far. I also like to take long falls down steep hills, especially when there are a plethora of blackberry bushes along the way.
Favorite hot spots:
I usually hang out in hospitals, healing, but when I'm not doing that, I go to the Zoo and visit some of my relatives in the primate exhibits. I'd love to take you there, but they tend to throw things at strangers. Not good things either.
Favorite things:
I like to party like it's 1865, 1901, or even 1968, but not 1999. New Years 1999, All I remember is waking up naked on a pool table with a traffic cone on my head and a couple "professional" ladies old enough to be my grandmother.
Last read:
Last thing I read was a warning on a light socket about not putting your finger inside it. Then I blacked out. Apparently tongues shouldn't be inserted into the sockets either.
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
My parents are Celtic/Norse, but I was born in East L.A.. Lets just say, I wasn't very popular in my neighborhood.
Faith: Other
God plays a vital role in my life. So far, he's used me as a warning to others. Been struck by lightning t-t-t-twice now. Of course I'm sure it has nothing to do with me standing on hilltops with a steel bat cursing at him during a thunderstorm.
And the second one (by the same person):
About me:
I love walks in the jungle, rabid puppies, Emu and Llama wrestling, and offroad mopeding. I also enjoy running naked through blackberry patches.
A lot of people have told me that I'm "special" or "gifted". I think they're jealous that I can count to 10, or 20 with my shoes off, and even to 22 in the shower. (don't ask)
I like to dance, but the only dances I know are the "Robot" and "Macarena", so I'm always (a) hit on the dance floor....especially at country/western bars. I tried to learn the electric slide, but I slid into a wall and broke my leg.
I was a professional bungee-jumper, but due to my depth perception issues, it didn't last long.
I've got carpal-tunnel in my left big toe, but it doesn't seem to affect my handwriting too much anymore.
My best friend is a Burundian Pygmy. His name is Mbaba-Mwanna-Waresa-Something, but I just call him shorty, it's easier. We hang out all the time. Although when he gets mad at me, he punches me in the kneecaps and shoots me with a poison blowdart. We always laugh about that afterwards while I'm recovering in the hospital.
About my date:
I'm looking for somebody that is breathing, and preferably not in any type of relationship, such as marriage, a cult, or prison. A woman that has a steady head on her shoulders, but not a steady shot when she's mad. As beautiful on the inside, as she is in the dark. She has to have a sense of humor, especially if catching me in a lie, drunk, or out with the guys (or all the above). She MUST know how to bathe, and does it regularly....with or without my assistance. She cannot be a blood relative (note to self: always check this first, not last). And must be of legal age...in Washington, NOT Missouri.
For fun:
I like to take pictures of people taking pictures of things. It really annoys them, especially when I use the strobe lights.
Favorite hot spots:
I like going to fancy restaurants, such as Chez McDonalds, B. King Grill, and Arbysaggio Ristorante.
Favorite things:
To relax, I like unscrewing my favorite bottle of wine, and sitting in front of my neon "fireplace" on my Bare skin rug, listening to the rain falling on the cardboard roof.
Last read:
The last thing I read was a sign that said "One way, do not enter". Then I woke up in the hospital....again. I REALLY need to pay more attention to the road signs.
Job: Self-Employed
Aside from Bungee-jumping, I'm also a belly-button Engineer.
Ethnicity: White / Caucasian
I'm heinz 56-1/2, a little bit of everything, including horse...or at least the back part of one.
Faith: Other
I beleive in Bob. Kind of like God, but he's usually hanging around Pike Place market, talking to himself. Mumbling something about the end of the world, canibal midgets, or some odd Newtonian equations concerning magnetohydrodynamics.
Education: High school, PhD / Post Doctoral
Ph.D. Naval Physics, Umbilicus University.
This guy is really funny...here are some of his replies to other people's comments:
Someone replied to him:
camping and hiking in the nude
As weird as it sounds it apparently is not all that unusual.
And he wrote back:
No kidding. Just last week I was hiking in the woods, and there was a whole family of Yeti, nude, just staring at me, like I was the one wearing no clothes. Jeez.
And when someone thanked him for the laughs, he replied:
Glad I could help. Laughing is good for the sole, and other fish too. =)
I love puns...and that's a double one! ("sole" instead of "soul", and then the fish reference) :D
So did you enjoy reading those profiles? Or am I the only one with a weird sense of humour? :P
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I would definitely like to date a funny guy like this. LOL.
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