Of friends, ex-friends and who's that?

I was just looking at the Facebook friend page, the one where we search for friends. And there are all these recommendations of people who know some of your friends. (For some reason Facebook wants us to add a whole lot of friends...I wonder why, what do they get from it?) In this (very long) list there were people I knew, more or less (and of course, people I didn't know at all). And in a way it got me thinking.

What kind of friends do you have on Facebook? Do you have only your close friends, do you have friends of friends that you have only met a couple of times, do you add just about anyone you have crossed paths with?

When I started out using Facebook, I added just about anyone I had come into contact with. Anyone I noticed that I recognised and knew from somewhere, I added. And most people accept. (so do I, if I know who the person is)

Then I found some old friends from primary school. I was all excited about catching up with them again, and added a whole bunch. And then I stopped. Why? Because the world just isn't that ideal. Adding a friend on Facebook takes a click. Updating your information, interacting with your friends (still on Facebook)? It takes more time. And most people already don't do that. So to actually take the time to meet up with old friends...it just ain't easy. So far I have met a grand total of FOUR primary school friends, on two separate occasions (I'm talking about those I had lost contact with right after primary school).

And along the way there were so many types of friends... People might say that friendship is forever, but unfortunately things don't always work that way. Sayings are pretty, but the world isn't always pretty.

There are the friends who last. Always there, Facebook or not.

There are the friends who were there, but have now drifted away. Some are still within reach; a phone call or an e-mail and we catch up again. But some are so far gone that there is no recontacting them. And that is reality.

There are the friends who had never really been (sorry if you happen to read this, but you probably won't anyway). I added a lot of people who were either people I barely knew in primary school (these sent me friend requests), or my seniors/juniors in France (these I sometimes added, because it was a way of staying in touch after one gathering, not knowing whether we would meet again). But before you say that it is useless to add these kind of people...

There are the friends who might never have been. There are people I have gotten to know better thanks to Facebook, because, not living in the same town, it is hard to socialize. Facebook gets over that problem...when they're rather active on it (think geeks? lol).

Now a couple of (France) juniors have sent me friend requests (after I came back for good, I mean). The first one I sent a message to, asking who he was, and then explaining to him why I was rejecting his friend request. The second one I just rejected. People who add you without knowing who you are, without telling you why they're adding you...they won't notice that you've rejected their request anyway. If he adds me again, then I'll contact him.

So what stand should I take on friend-accepting? As of now I am still accepting requests from people I know, though I am highly hesitant on adding someone myself. I am sorely tempted to remove a lot of friends with whom I no longer interact, and with whom I would no longer be able to interact, were I to meet them again. But the "friendship forever" phrase still niggles (imperfect as it may be). You just don't delete friends.

Psst. And I'm a pack rat. And pack rats don't throw away anything, least of all friends.